What Do You Need to Create the Life You Want After Divorce?
Hey brother,
It’s your Happy Man Coach, Charlie McKeever.
I’ about to share something with you that’s been stirring inside our community lately—something powerful.
We’ve been asking this simple but life-shifting question:
“What do you need in order to create the life you want for yourself?”
This question hits especially hard for the men in our group. A lot of them are navigating the stormy waters of separation, divorce, or the quiet aftermath of post-divorce life. They’re staring down the next 10, 20, even 30 years of life and asking themselves:
“Do I want the next 20 years to feel like the last 20?”
Let’s be real—if we want something different, we have to do something different.
We can’t just sit around hoping things will change. Hoping someone will finally see us. Hoping the world will give us what we want. That’s not how it works. If we don’t even know what we want, how can anyone else possibly give it to us?
The Danger of External Dependency
Here’s the trap we fall into: waiting for someone else to meet our needs. That kind of external dependency leads to all kinds of suffering—confusion, frustration, resentment. We start to feel like victims. Powerless.
But let’s think about this logically.
Why would someone else wake up every day and spend more energy on our needs than on their own?
They have their own life. Their own needs. Their own desires.
So here’s the shift:
We’ve got to go first.
Self-Leadership Starts With Clarity
We teach each other in the community to take our power back. To stop handing it over to others. To stop waiting.
We learn to own our life.
That means:
Getting clear about what we want.
Giving ourselves permission to want what we want.
Taking action toward it—even if it’s scary.
Letting go of old beliefs, toxic habits, and relationships that hold us back.
I’m not just preaching here, brother—I’m doing the work too.
This morning, I wrote out my list. Not some fantasy list. Not a Pinterest board of dreams.
My real list. My honest truth.
And I want to share it with you.
Here’s What I Want for Myself:
More travel – I’m curious. I want to see more of the world, explore new places, meet new people.
Laughter, play, and connection – The kind that lights me up from the inside.
Intimacy and vulnerability – To be open. To be seen. To be real.
Honesty and self-acceptance – To accept myself fully first, instead of waiting for others to do it.
Love and adventure – To live with an open heart, full of wonder and joy.
Freedom from the things that don’t serve me – Whether it’s old stuff, old stories, or old wounds.
Unapologetic sexual play – No shame. Just joy, presence, and play.
Country music – Yeah, you heard me. I used to disown that part of myself. Now I embrace it. It’s part of who I am.
Two-stepping and dancing – I want to move, to be in my body, to enjoy life physically—not just think about it.
Presence and purpose – I want to do things, not just dream about them.
That’s my list.
But the truth is… none of that happens unless I own it. Unless I act. Unless I say yes to those things and no to the distractions.
So I’ll Ask You Again…
What do you need to create the life you want?
Not what your wife, soon to be ex-wife or current ex-wife wants.
Not what your boss expects.
Not what your family thinks is best.
You.
If you don’t know the answer, that’s okay.
Let’s figure it out together.
We can hop on a call, put pen to paper, and surface those answers. You don’t have to do this alone. Join the community where we have these deep conversations—conversations most men have never had.
In this space, you get to be real.
You get to be seen.
You get to be supported by other men walking the same path.
Ready to Start?
If anything I’ve said today has hit home—if your head has been nodding or your chest feels like it’s about to break open—then it’s time.
Time to schedule a Healthy, Happy Man coaching call.
If you're reading this and getting a little uncomfortable...or a LOT uncomfortable, then I want to help you today...
Fill out my contact form for a free, no strings, personalized coaching session to help you slow down and refocus on what is really important right now.
Or try one of my other options to get the support you need at this time:
Happy Man Courses: Take a Happy Man Course - if you need an instant change in your life and relationship I created several powerful short courses to help you start feeling more calm and confident and to know what actions to take to start retraining your nervous system and transform your marriage.
Free: If you're serious about building your masculine mojo then apply for a coaching call with me and I’ll help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you feeling confident again.
What do I mean by "SERIOUS"?
We take YOU and your struggles seriously...because we've been there
We know worrying whether your wife wants to leave your marriage is serious
And we know a lack of clarity about how to change it is serious now and for your long term future happiness
We believe your personal emotional strength and well-being is serious
We seriously show up 110% to our conversations with you and expect you to be as serious as we are about changing your life
Brotherhood: Join me inside the Happy Man Community. We meet weekly for live large group coaching and we support you in a powerful group of men facing the same issues you are. Try it for one month. What have you got to lose?
Small Group Coaching: Join one of the weekly small group coaching calls that give you a place to discuss your relationship issues, get perspective and insights without getting lost in a large group format.
So, fill out the form.
I’ll personally respond.
We’ll find a time to talk.
And when we do?
We’ll start the real work of turning this pain into purpose.
Because change doesn’t have to mean the end of your marriage.
It just means the end of what’s no longer working—for either of you.
Talk with you soon,
Charlie McKeever
Your Happy Man Coach
PS: If you read this far, you’re ready for a change. Take the next step. Fill out the form to request a “I’m ready to create the life I want for myself” coaching call.
