How to Set Boundaries Without Being a Jerk or a Doormat
Hey brother,
I know the trap you’re caught in.
You walk through your own house like you’re walking through a minefield.
You’re constantly wondering:
If I stand up for myself… will she get angry?
If I say what I really feel… will I push her further away?
If I stay quiet… maybe she’ll come around.
So you toggle.
Between silence and frustration.
Between being the “nice guy”… and finally snapping.
Because you’ve been sold a lie:
You can either be a jerk… or a pushover.
And neither one feels like home.
The High Cost of Avoiding Conflict
So what do you do?
You soften your tone.
You give in.
You avoid the hard conversations.
You let things slide — again and again.
And each time?
You betray yourself a little more.
You start waking up with knots in your stomach.
You feel resentful, anxious, ashamed.
You’re not leading anymore — you’re disappearing.
You’re trying so hard to make her feel safe, but in the process, you’ve made yourself invisible.
And here’s the truth, straight from the men I coach — and from Steve Horsmon’s core teachings:
No woman feels safe with a man who’s afraid of upsetting her.
She can’t relax into love if you don’t stand for yourself.
This Isn’t About Her — It’s About You
Here’s the truth I’ve lived.
Here’s the truth the men I coach rediscover:
Boundaries aren’t about controlling her.
They’re about honoring you.
You don’t need to yell.
You don’t need to dominate.
You don’t need to hand her an ultimatum.
You just need to stop abandoning your truth.
What will you no longer tolerate?
What do you need to feel respected, grounded, and whole?
That’s the work.
And if you don’t know how to answer that yet? That’s okay.
Most men were never taught.
But now… it’s time to learn.
You Don’t Have to Choose Between Two Bad Options
You don’t have to be a pushover.
You don’t have to be a jerk.
You get to be something better:
A man with presence.
With clarity.
With calm, unshakable boundaries that protect your peace and restore your leadership.
And you don’t have to figure it out alone.
Ready to Get Started?
If you're reading this and getting a little uncomfortable...or a LOT uncomfortable, then I want to help you today...
Fill out my contact form for a free, no strings, personalized coaching session to help you slow down and refocus on what is really important right now.
Or try one of my other options to get the support you need at this time:
Happy Man Courses: Take a Happy Man Course - if you need an instant change in your life and relationship I created several powerful short courses to help you start feeling more calm and confident and to know what actions to take to start retraining your nervous system and transform your marriage.
Free: If you're serious about building your masculine mojo then apply for a coaching call with me and I’ll help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you feeling confident again.
What do I mean by "SERIOUS"?
We take YOU and your struggles seriously...because we've been there
We know worrying whether your wife wants to leave your marriage is serious
And we know a lack of clarity about how to change it is serious now and for your long term future happiness
We believe your personal emotional strength and well-being is serious
We seriously show up 110% to our conversations with you and expect you to be as serious as we are about changing your life
Brotherhood: Join me inside the Happy Man Community. We meet weekly for live large group coaching and we support you in a powerful group of men facing the same issues you are. Try it for one month. What have you got to lose?
Small Group Coaching: Join one of the weekly small group coaching calls that give you a place to discuss your relationship issues, get perspective and insights without getting lost in a large group format.
So, fill out the form.
I’ll personally respond.
We’ll find a time to talk.
And when we do?
We’ll start the real work of turning this pain into purpose.
Because change doesn’t have to mean the end of your marriage.
It just means the end of what’s no longer working—for either of you.
Talk with you soon,
Charlie McKeever
Your Happy Man Coach
PS: You’re not broken. You’re just ready for change. And I’ve got your back.
